Monday, May 5, 2008

The Gavel Goes Green

It has been over a month since I subjected any of you to my absurd dribble, and as much as I'd like to claim my return to blogging is due to an overwhelming demand for my witty verbiage, it's more a byproduct of me just being bored.

Although some time has passed, not much has changed has it? The news media refuses to report on anything except Obama's former fanatical, religious, conspiracy theorist Reverend Wright, America's gas prices, and the struggling national economy.

I thought I'd give you a break from the redundant, repetitive, and superabundant aforementioned topics and talk about the importance of going "GREEN." Okay...so it's just as obvious and annoying as the others, but I have some green ideas that most people (aka sane people) haven't necessarily thought of. It's your task to decide which of these you will adopt this summer to save our planet from imminent doom.

Shower in the Sculpture Garden
The Cherry Spoon provides guests with the option of a quick shower or a nice relaxing bath. Remember to bring your own earth-friendly suds or bubble bath.

Or for those true earth crusaders...try not showering...at all!





Order Every Meal From Galactic Pizza
They have a complete vision of the future that lists all of the different green and community enriching activities they engage in already.

Your pizza might cost an extra $ or $$, but superhero delivery men and women (i.e. Captain Awesome, Veggie Avenger, Luke Pierocker, etc.) bring you your pies which totally makes up for the extra money, right?

If not, according to this article, you can get 50% off your order if you dress like Richard Simmons. Lucky for me...


Buy Your Clothes at Ragstock

I guess any used store will do, huh? Fashion is perhaps the most cyclical industry in existence so you know no matter how stupid you might look wearing your new neon off-the-shoulder tanks or tight acid wash pants you'll eventually be back in style soon...you could even start a trend! Remember...you have to suffer for fashion.

And it seems like a horrible thing to bring up winter when we just survived a long one, but I hear that Ragstock has a killer sweater section.



Final Verdict: Eat Organic Food (4 vs. 1 vs. 1)

2 comments:

Julia said...

Hooray for the return of the blog! Might I suggest another water- and energy-saving technique? After your underpants are dirty, just turn them inside out. Just like new! We saw that all the time at the crime lab.

Lil Nill said...

Dude, how could you suggest messing with my cleanliness, food, or clothing in order to go green? I know a girl is supposed to make sacrifices, but come on now!
I mean, thanks for bringing your sily damn blog back.