Sunday, February 17, 2008

Richard Simmons vs. Billy Blanks

During the past 20 years there has been a well documented and dramatic increase in obesity in the United States. This slide set effectively illustrates this trend by mapping the increased prevalence of obesity across each of the states. Way to go Mississippi and West Virginia!

Now stop and imagine what this slide show would look like if fitness gurus Richard Simmons and Billy Blanks hadn't blessed our nation with their classic workout routines during this span. Minus liposuction and Jared of Subway fame, no other person, or thing, has helped more Americans lose weight and regain their figure than Simmons's Sweatin' to the Oldies series and Blanks's Tae Bo craze, although Tony Little (nice ponytail...jerk) and his Gazelle machines, which are currently selling like Tickle-Me Elmo dolls during Christmas, is catching them quickly.

If you've been living under a rock, or you're just genetically incapable of gaining weight (we all hate you) and you've never seen these masters of muscle entropy, or if you just want to get your heart pumping, I have embedded a small sample of each guru's work.

Note: If you've never seen footage of
Richard Simmons on the Late Show with David Letterman it's a must see. Also, the Simmons video below has been updated with a new tune...proving once again the timelessness of his work. One other thing to look for: Billy Blanks has the biggest man boobs...I mean pectoral muscles...I have ever seen. Very impressive...and speaking of impressive...how does he manage to avoid a nip slip during that workout? Enjoy!





Final Verdict: Richard Simmons (9 vs. 2)

3 comments:

Lil Nill said...

Why am I not surprised? Can you post photos to arguments, b/c I have a few that might support (or hurt?) Richard's case...

Anonymous said...

Picking Simmons is so lame. Billy Blanks' Tae Bo workout changed my body and my life. His cleavage is amazing, but based on personal experience I can tell you he didn't get his amazing pectoral muscles from Tae Bo alone.

Erik said...

Anon, I'm scared to ask...but...how did Billy get those perky pecs?