Thursday, February 28, 2008

Big Ern vs. The Jesus

First of all, not too long ago I watched The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. It. Was. Awesome. It's a documentary about the world of competitive video games, specifically Donkey Kong. The sheer nerdery on display is off the charts. We're talking Steve Urkel levels. I'm a fairly nerdy guy (this post and blog serve as evidence), but this movie makes me look like freakin' Fonzi. If you need a bit of a self-esteem boost, I would highly recommend watching this movie.

Without further ado...let me present our next case. This is definitely a heavyweight match up (I'm talking about The Stones vs. The Beatles, Ali vs. Foreman, Godfather vs. Godfather II, etc.). These are without a doubt two of my favorite movie characters of all time. Ironically, I would rate the respective movies they appear in as only average. Wait...did I just make an ironic statement, or was I "Alanis Morrisette ironic" (aka not ironic at all)?

Big Ern McCrackin:


Bill Murray is a comedy god. Whether it is the desperation, the insane comb-over, or the over-the-top dance moves, Big Ern is the perfect example of the guy you love to hate. He also bowls a whale of a game (lame adjective choice...I know).

The Jesus:


Nobody fucks with The Jesus! Foul-mouthed, hair-netted, and pony-tailed, The Jesus is a formidable foe...and rumor has it he's never thrown a gutter ball.

I know...I'm so torn too. But it's time to crown somebody the most bad-ass bowler!

Final Verdict: Big Ern (5 vs. 4)

3 comments:

Julia said...

Just so you know, Fonzi is a little bit nerdy, too.

Fixen Vixen said...

Even though Big Ern really works that comb over, I got to go with The Jesus. He has the accent, the disgusting pinky finger, and he is not afraid to lick a ball (I mean bowling balls, of course).

Svenchy said...

I went with Jesus because he speaks God's language (Spanish). That and his purple outfit rocks!