Thursday, February 7, 2008

Opening Statements

Welcome fellow jury members. This is the inaugural trial in the lowest of the lower courts. Technically, this trial system is in fact even lower than those held by those grotty, gavel jockeys Judge Judy and Judge Mathis. However, unlike those amateur affairs, there will be no asinine arguing over a few hundred dollars that your former live-in boyfriend/girlfriend owes you because you were stupid enough to lend them the money for Glamour Shots photos that they swore were going to, "like, totally launch my modeling career."

No, this courtroom is reserved for cases of greater importance, cases that are both controversial and eye-opening. Cast your vote via the web-poll located in the sidebar and then make sure to voice your arguments in the comments section. You never know...you might even be able to sway someone else's opinion on the matter.

So without further ado, here's our first case:

Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts vs. Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Pop-Tarts


These are the two most popular and iconic Pop-Tart flavors Kellogg's produces. If you need case history check out Wikipedia's page on Pop-Tarts, or do some of your own research. But remember to be safe. According to wikipedia...

In 1994, Texas A&M University professor Patrick Michaud performed an experiment proving that, when left in the toaster too long, strawberry Pop-Tarts could produce flames over a foot high.[9] The discovery triggered a flurry of lawsuits. Since then, Pop-Tarts carry the warning: "Do not leave toasting appliances unattended due to possible risk of fire."
Now that I've given you fair warning, let's make sure we keep all the "burns" in the comment section. Finally, if there are any cases you think should be brought to justice via this courtroom feel free to email me your ideas.

Final Verdict: Frosted Strawberry (10 vs. 3)

4 comments:

Lil Nill said...

What about strawberry w/out frosting? Come on, represent!

BleachBoy said...

Strawberries with frosting is pure sugary goodness. The real kicker are the sprinkles on top of the frosting... like crack for one's taste buds...

Anonymous said...

Wow. When asked, Kelsey had the same opinion as Sarah. What is it with girls and liking plain strawberry pop tarts instead of those with frosting? It's just another example of how girls are always wrong.

Lil Nill said...

We will live longer, healthier lives. You will just be fat. I win.